Our Irish car is a diesel and returning to Clonegal from Dublin we stopped for petrol (gas for us yanks). Got out of the car and pumped 72 euros (@$90.00) of petrol (regular gas) into the car. The cap is clearly marked diesel and somehow I only noticed this when I screwed the cap back on. In horror, I knocked on the car window and asked Mary “Car just takes diesel right?”
We attempted to talk to two guys in a tow truck next to the pumps and couldn’t understand a word they said…save “don’t dive the car buddy”…Went inside the station and told the manager what had happened and she said that I must have the tank pumped out and don’t drive the car.
In the mean time the two guys pushed the car away from the pumps. She finds a number to call and she says he’ll be there in about an hour and that I would still have to pay for the gas.
At this point we had already been on the road for about an hour and a half and were a “bit” tired from whatever trouble we caused in the city the night before.
He arrives and tells us it will cost about 225 euros plus the new gas we would have to put in and it would take about an hour to do.
We were not looking forward to the remaining drive on roads as big or I should say little as your drive way … adding dangerous curves and Irish drivers that seem to enjoy driving 90 mph on this section of the road.
While the car was being pumped I spent sometime talking to the manager and she told me she had just returned from a wedding in New York.
At the wedding her husband got violently ill and was rushed to the hospital and is now in a Dublin hospital awaiting a bone marrow transplant and is going through chemo and she is not sure if he is going to make it.
At this point the 90 dollars in gas, the 270 dollars in pumping, the new gas put back and the wasted 5 hours in time was just so dismissive and minor that we looked forward to the remaining drive ahead.
I lead with Jeff Buckley’s version of
for this reason…I wish this woman’s husband and family well.
Jeff had so much going for him when he drowned in May 0f 1997.
and may a sunrise in your life open your eyes and soul for others that are going through a difficult time.
there is a commercial for a diet company that touts …buy into the program and get two months of food for the price of one…that’s like getting the second month free…
got questioned by a police officer at 3 am leaving the beach … interesting conversation but I almost told him to fuck off…that’s almost, I’m older and wiser now.
got questioned by the Irish emigration authorities about my illegal stays in Ireland…moi… wanted to tell them to fuck off…
still looking for my cannabis farmer from Northern California that I met at a bar when my car broke down on Easter Sunday…great story…Julian my man…lost your number.
I admit I am a fair weather fan of the Bruins…WTF
I will not discuss politics unless
When it comes to the news…I frequently move on to Family Guy reruns…
I am writing this 3o minutes before game 2 of the Stanley Cup finals …
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS – MAY 27: Torey Krug #47 of the Boston Bruins checks Robert Thomas #18 of the St. Louis Blues during the third period in Game One of the 2019 NHL Stanley Cup Final at TD Garden on May 27, 2019 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)
It is no wonder the rest of the country hates Boston sports teams and their fans… if the Bruins win
After four months in Ireland, my old BMW started right up upon returning to Milton. Unfortunately every light on the dash board was lit up but it didn’t stop me from driving it.
I was invited to join my sister and and brother in law for Easter dinner at a restaurant in Westport and thought it might be a good idea to have the car serviced before I went.
Drove it home and all was good to go.
Easter Sunday came and off I go and as I got to the Braintree split all the lights came on and I lost power. The traffic was heavy and cars around me were not pleased with my car’s performance.
After an extended wait, AAA came and towed my car to the shop that just worked on it. Once the car was dropped off I asked the driver to drop me off at a restaurant/bar in East Milton.
The restaurant was packed with well dressed families out for Easter dinner but no one was sitting at the bar. After several beverages a guy comes in and sits next to me. To say he was not dressed for Easter dinner would be kind. I said hello and we started talking. He had just left a restaurant on the next block because the bar tender was ignoring him and he suspected it was because of the way he was dressed. A certain homeless look, you might say.
I asked him if he was new to the area and he said he was in Massachusetts for business and was renting a house in Stoughton. He was commuting weekly from Northern California and every other week to Columbia.
And what business are you in I asked. “Cannabis…I own a 24 acre farm in Northern California and came to Massachusetts to establish a base.”
Would you happen to have any with you now, I continued. He then opened his jacket vest and he must have had 20 containers in individual pockets. He picked one out and gave it to me and I said how much do I owe you. Nothing… and we continued to drink.
He came around to ask me what I did and I explained that I no longer worked and that most of my career was in the television business. I added that I paint and attempt to play the fiddle on occasion .
He asked if I had any pictures of my paintings and I showed him what I had recently painted. He pulled out a roll of cash and said he liked two and that he would give me $500.00 to hold them for him. I said no, he should see them in person before he bought them.
We continued to drink.
He gave me his cell phone number on a card and asked me to call him so that he could pick up and pay for the paintings.
We continued to drink.
I finally left him at the bar and stumbled home. I was not used to walking that distance in cowboy boots.
The next morning got up and immediately looked for the card. I must have ripped the house apart.
Rocky Raccoon checked into his room
Only to find Gideon’s Bible
Rocky had come, equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems, had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy
Her name was Magill, and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy
Now she and her man, who called himself Dan
Were in the next room at the hoe down
Rocky burst in, and grinning a grin
He said, “Danny boy, this is a showdown”
But Daniel was hot, he drew first and shot
And Rocky collapsed in the corner
The second night back from Ireland at around 2am I heard noises from the attic and initially thought it was mice. The noise got much louder and I thought…could be rats. The noise got louder and louder and I finally decided to investigate. I opened the attic door and focused my flashlight toward the noise.
Rocky Raccoon was now my tenant. I must say Rocky was well fed and was the biggest raccoon I have ever seen.. He looked at me and said I’m out on the town for awhile and I’ll be back so keep the doors open.
Rocky returned the next night and next and sleep was nowhere to be found. The battle was on.
Fortified the vents, kept the attic lights on with radio blasting. I opened the attic door just to see Rocky leaving for another night out… he turned toward me and smiled.
The next night it was pouring rain, it was 3am and I heard him trying to get in. I jumped out of bed ran outside in the rain and yelled, made noise and flashed lights on him. He came down and sat on the gutter and looked at me saying Hey dude it’s raining out and I want to stay dry.
I immediately went to the attic and made a barrier that Godzilla couldn’t get through.
Opened the back door to look up and there was Rocky sitting on my grill on the back deck. I picked up a heavy log and threw it at him. Missed and dented the cover of my grill.
Please let me revisit my bat story.
Home alone and Mary had hired a woman to clean the house every other week. I came home after a few beverages and ended up in bed. Sometime in the early morning hours I was awakened by a noise sounding like a toy jet flying around the room. I put my glasses on and a bat was heading right for me.
I jumped out of bed and room and closed the door. Went into the garage to get a rake and then returned to the bedroom. No more bat.
The next morning I went to work and left the rake on the bed.
Just so happened the cleaning lady showed up the next day.
My wife returned weeks later and asked her if things went well. She said fine but she couldn’t understand why I slept with a rake.
It was only starting to get strange when I started to take Rake drinking with me.
He said, “Rocky, you met your match”
And Rocky said, “Doc, it’s only a scratch
And I’ll be better, I’ll be better, Doc, as soon as I am able”
Now Rocky Raccoon, he fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon’s Bible
Gideon checked out, and he left it, no doubt
To help with good Rocky’s revival
Will Rocky return tonight or has he met his match.
Winning the euro lottery …BIG!!! Thank you very much…
…but before I get to that I must tell you of my interrogation at the Irish immigration office…
…so Mr. Carney your passport indicates that you stay in country longer than you are allowed. How long have you been doing this and hasn’t anyone ever questioned you about this?
…well I believe it would be about 8 years and no one has ever questioned me about it (I did not tell them of the time when upon arriving in country they were going to send me back on the next plane)
…do you have a job here? Yes I do…and what would that be? Getting up in the morning…wise arse…no sense of humor…
…reminded me of my Marine Corps potato chip story. I was assigned to the Joint Planning Group Headquarters Marine Corps. Before I started I had to meet with a Navy Psychiatrist. He asked a lot of questions and then asked me if there was anything strange about me. I thought for a while then said. My head sweats when I eat potato chips. He called for a Navy corpsman to go out and get a bag of chips. He gave then to me, I opened the bag and started eating…sure enough I started to sweat…he then asked if he could have one and I said no you bought them for me …wise arse he said
…oh ya back to the lottery…it will soon be public knowledge so I might as well tell you all that I hit the euro lottery big. I placed my bet yesterday morning and by 11pm was notified that I won.
Not a good time to tempt the law or regulations. That bank job is going to have to wait.
Apparently I should have gotten an Irish driver’s license some time ago… and… I’m only allowed to stay in country for three months…clearly stated on my passport. If you’re a regular reader of this blog you might remember when the authorities were going to put me on the next plane back to Boston just after I landed in Dublin.
Gee I have always done things by the book … except that time when … and perhaps when I … oh let’s not get into those minor details.
Today I took a “theory” test for rules of the road. Questions like … all multiple choice answers… What do you do if you kill a sheep in the road? a. hide the carcass in the bushes b. put it in the truck and sell it to your butcher c. tell the sheep farmer the sheep attacked you d. report it to the local priest. Had to guess on that one. And then… the gauge for petrol is on E and the car stops running what might be the problem? a. the seat belts are not fastened b. the left front tire is flat c. the hitchhiker you picked up is drinking out of a hose attached to the side of your car d. Donald Trump… this one was hard. What is the penalty for accidentally smelling a pint of Guinness and driving after? (believe me it is that bad over here re: drinking and driving) a. an all expense paid trip to Fall River Massachusetts b. 4-6 years at Mount Joy Prison c. an overnight with the local priest d. watching a 3 day cricket match
As you can see it was not an easy test…I had to have numerous smells of Guinness before I was back to normal. Oh ya I passed.
Should be all set to go … not so fast …now I have to take 12 fucking driving lessons at 450 euros and then pass the actual driving test.
As for staying in country for longer than 3 months, I would have to become an Irish citizen or continue to violate the law. Right now … in violation. My new friends from Chicago that live in the village have done both… got their Irish driver’s license and became dual citizens.
Back to the test. A few questions about eco-driving. What the fuck is eco-driving you ask. Well one of the questions was … What would not contribute to eco-driving? a. driving a well maintained vehicle b. driving safely c. taking public transportation d. impeaching Donald Trump
I recently asked a relative by marriage what was the main reason they hated Trump so much. His answer …climate control.
As always I refer to the late great George Carlin, one of the most liberal comics of all time, re: endangered species and climate control.
George Carlin – Saving the Planet
I’ll keep you posted on my progress … Mount Joy Prison looks like a comfortable place to visit for a while.
By the by Mount Joy Prison might sound familiar to regular readers. I have written about a certain IRA escape from there inA day to confess
I like to fish, surf casting, in the summer. When doing so all the mindless things floating around my little brain disappear and I am at peace with myself.
For the last few years I have been painting, doing found object/driftwood art and trying to learn five, that’s all, five songs on my 236 year old fiddle.
As with fishing, I am at peace and forget about the petty things that somehow bother me. Don’t understand why I should be bothered by anything, but … just five fucking songs.
On the art side, I was fortunate to have a private showing at ArtBank in Bunclody, Ireland and had an exhibit with my sister in Milton, Massachusetts. A documentary on me, by Dick Dona, actor, film producer, artist and his wife artist Marja Van Kampen, was also submitted to the Wexford Film Festival. I don’t believe it won.
As with the fiddle, I have taken lessons from two great musicians and teachers, Aidan Maher and Jeff Angeley. Recently a close friend of my son in law, an accomplished violin master, suggested to me “just five songs, Dan cuz you’re never going to make it to Symphony Hall”
Little does he know there’s a bar called Symphony Hall.
My sister Carol Veiga and brother Bob both went to a fine art school. I remember Bob putting some interesting price tags on some of his work and would say “people think it must be good if it costs this much”. I kind of followed his lead until I met a woman that does magical things with old windows. She invited me to display my stuff at a show on the Boston water front. She is married to a former Boston Bruin hockey player and he looked at my driftwood and found object art and said he liked it, then asked “if you cut your price would that change your life style?” “you probably would sell more and get the satisfaction that someone likes your work” He was right…and so was my brother.
I never made a living out of art…my sister and brother did. I’m just having some fun while getting lost…
A Carol Veiga painting…and Bob Carney drawing done when he was nineteen. You might see the difference between fun and talent.
I’ll get back to some painting now because sadly my constant companion and buddy was killed on the road up front. He was abandoned two years ago and found us and never left. RIP Jake…
John Cage did and his 4’33” commands you to listen. Most people will dismiss this creative presentation as a joke.
Did high school, college teach you to listen? Life teaches you to listen, your j0b teaches to listen. One of my early career jobs was in sales and my boss taught me a lot. Two stand out, listen to your customers/potential customers and don’t drink at lunch.
The best salespeople in the world are listeners.
At the present time I am in Ireland and no one, no one listens over here. Anyone younger than 30 years old is over educated and can’t understand why they can’t find a good car mechanic and when they do she charges 100 euros an hour. You go girl.
Anybody else ready to shoot Mike from My Pillow? Now he’s doing a mattress cover…maybe I’ll shoot myself before I buy one. Oh ya, I got sucked in and bought a pillow for 3 thousand dollars and did not get a second one free. I want my second pillow.
You ask…am I sleeping better?
Fuck no…all I can think about is Tommy John underwear. Did these guys replace the untuckit shirt people? Untuckit shirts must have advertised on every sports show on TV…don’t see them anymore…now Tommy John underwear is everywhere. Well not on me yet.
I haven’t looked into who the founder of Tommy J underwear is yet. I wonder if it is “the” Tommy John, if it is, he would be one of the few that could do what this ass hole does in GMC’s truck commercial. Come on Madison avenue this is so stupid.
A man surprises his wife with a special gift for the holidays. He leads her out into their driveway where two …
The Christmas TV car commercial season is here as is my annual praise and bitch session on commercials in general. Do yourself a favor and at least watch the last two.
Of course with that comes lots of spots where one spouse surprises the other with a brand new BMW, Mercedes, Cadillac, Range Rover or whatever costs more than $80,000, with a big red bow on top. And guess what? I HATE THOSE COMMERCIALS! Come on…do you know anyone that would do this.
I think I’ll put a red ribbon around my car to cover up the dents… a Christmas gift to me…and maybe some thing else…
Mercedes made up for their red ribbon spot with this
Then again..was an apology necessary for this ad…I don’t think so but they, Mercedes, did.
Discuss politics…I don’t think so. We can’t discuss, we immediately steer the conversation and/or the social media comment to a specific conclusion and then it’s my way or the highway.
Forget what I just said it’s a lot worse than that and it is affecting our interaction and relationships with family and friends.
How sad…unfortunately, everyone seems reluctant to change. Please note I said reluctant not won’t. Where do we go from here? If you are a regular reader of this blog, thank you, or if you simply kissed it off because of a comment I made, I am sorry I lost you.
I’m lookin for solutions.
I’m lookin for help to…not sure…maybe it’s to ride a small wave till the current grows to a level strong enough wash away the hostilities that we seem to thrive on.
I’m lookin for help…what say you?
Cash, check and credit cards accepted. Make checks out to Daniel N. Carney.
or you could consider helping those that were in the paths of recent hurricanes.
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