This is not Aidan O’Leary

Apparently you can not copy Aidan O’Leary’s picture from facebook … I’ve been told there are “people” out “there” hunting him down.  All I can tell you is that he is the International Channel Manager at Hubspot in Dublin, Ireland www.hubspot.com/partners and he volunteered to “clarify” Ireland for anyone that is “confused” about the weather conditions and the clothing one should wear when visiting this very, very wet island.

Rainy day in Irleand

This following is aaaalllll Aidan’s ….

So this is for the benefit of all my American colleagues who are confused or alarmed by the recent images being broadcast around the world, given that we are now 15 years into the peace process..

The capital of Ireland is Dublin . It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland, but still pay in Euros.

Dublin

Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be in Ireland , but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK. Had the campaign lasted any longer the North might now be in France.

Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland . It has a population of half a million, half of whom own houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the South. No, not the south, the South.

Belfast

There are two parliaments in Ireland . The Dublin parliament is called the Dáil, (pronounced “Doyle”), an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers’ money. The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning ‘placebo’, or deliberately ineffective drug.

Time out … Aidan … If I might add a suggestion to the Dail and the Stormont … both should add a Minister of Silly Walks and a Minister of  Weather.  The later would do absolutely nothing (like the US Congress) except look out the window once in a while just to monitor the FUCKING RAIN.  The Minister of Silly Walks … now what more could be said …

The Minister of Silly Walks

Aidan continues….

Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump their chemical waste and bi-products. Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are totally opposed to it. Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink!

We have two types of democracy in Ireland . Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result. If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people’s choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum. Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin .

Ireland has three economies – northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red.

All versions of the IRA claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North’s biggest industry is the production of IRAs. Consequently, we now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRA. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers simply because it is the easiest to spell.

Disguised IRA gunman

I trust this clarifies things and has answered many previously unanswered questions for you

Thank you Aidan … as clear as an Irish rain shower … and David K.  I await your title translation.

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