Beavis and Butt-head Revisited

The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication. Homer Simpson

Hey…hey … huh..thanks… huh…huh… what better way to welcome them back than to lay down a few quotes from Beavis, Butt-head and their friends from the Simpsons and Family Guy.

Yes…I know…but I’m also sure there are others in cartoon land like me…


Beavis & Butthead

Butt-head: I heard on MTV News that this dude’s dad
[Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys]
Butt-head: writes movies.
Beavis: What do you mean he writes movies? You can’t read a movie.
Butt-head: No, it’s like he writes what they say.
Beavis: You mean he just like goes to movies and sits there and writes down everything they say?
Butt-head: No, he writes it down before they say it.
Beavis: Well, how does he know what they’re gonna say?
Butt-head: He just like makes it up.
Beavis: Really? Well, anybody can do that!

Family Guy

Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don’t know why, but I feel safer already. – Family Guy

Dennis Miller: I don’t wanna go on a RANT here but America’s foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antetum. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it’s like Raskalnakov filibuster dioxymonohydrostinate.
Peter: What the hell does RANT mean?  Family Guy

Tom Tucker: Well Diane, that last report was so good I think you deserve a spanking.
Diane: Oh Tom, I don’t think your wife would appreciate that.
Tom: Haha, that frigid old cow lives in Quahog she can’t hear a word I’m saying.
Camera Guy: Actually, we’re back on the air in Quahog – Family Guy

Homer: [Bart has offended Lisa, and he’s surprised she’s visibly angry at him after saying that nothing is wrong between them] Son, when a woman says nothing’s wrong, it means everything’s wrong. When a woman says everything’s wrong, it means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn’t* funny, you’d better not laugh your ass off!  – The Simpsons

TV Announcer: [At the end of a commercial for a combination hair restorer/penis enlarger] Possible side effects include loss of scalp and penis. – The Simpsons

PBS Pledge Drive Host: It’s easy to see why it’s England’s most long-running series – and we’re showing all of them, all 7 episodes. – The Simpsons

Krustyburger manager: We need more secret sauce. Put this mayonnaise in the sun – The Simpsons

Bart: Can I have a beer?
Homer: All right, but not the imported.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: You’ve got to set limits, Marge. – The Simpsons

Mr. Burns: Thank you, come again. Smithers, release the hounds.  – The Simpsons

…just a few … send me your favorites


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