Bunclody’s 2nd annual “long cock” competition

Adam

The last few weeks has seen a run on pharmacies selling male enhancement products, especially for  “mega penis”, which sold out within hours of being set for sale.

Oh…and I can hear you saying … ‘now Dan how would you know there was a run and that “mega penis” sold out’.  Well smart asses I was told by several guys at Osbornes’ and they said that someone at the castle told them.

Huntington Castle Clonegal

My invitation to the competition was hand carried and reads in part …

…Just a brief note to let you know that the “long cock” competition will be held on Monday the 2nd of January.  The measuring will take place at 3:00PM.  To add a bit of a twist to the occasion I urge you to bring a sample of your home cooking and we will have a microwave there to heat it up…and I dare say this year’s competition will get hot.  Rachael Allen has very kindly agreed to come down and judge this part of the competition and if we could get her to do the measuring as well I’m pretty sure that we’d see some of the longest cocks we ever saw in the parish.  We will have a bit of music and a few drinks on hand as well as a driver to bring people home so plan on spending a couple of hours with us and we’ll make a proper evening of it.  Don’t be afraid to bring a friend or a guest because its all about a bit of craic.  There will be prizes for the long cock and the cooking. …. On behalf of the committee I would like to wish all our members a very Merry Christmas and a safe and healthy “New Year”.

You can’t make this “shit” up.

I’m writing about this several hours before the competition and I’ll leave you now because I’ve got some “medications” to take and then later this evening, if I’m able, will report on the festivities.  I have also been told (the guys from Osbornes”) that there are medical professionals on hand if the “medication” lingers for more than four hours.

Osborne's

Upon arriving at the event, I immediately sought Rachael Allen out.  I wanted to introduce myself to her before she got wrapped up in measuring  cocks.  She greeted me with a warm “Are you just excited to meet me or is that a gun in your pocket?”

I made this last paragraph up…Rachael was a no show.

… but the craic was fucking fantastic.  The line up of long cocks was fucking brilliant and as you can tell my vocabulary has been influenced by a “few” beverages.

…and the winning long cock…

 

please this is for adults only…

 

…and the winning long cock is…

The "Long Cock":

The competition was stiff…there were many long ones …

long ones

…but only one winner

The winna

…and I’ll throw in the view as a bonus…

Next up Leopardstown revisted.

 

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2 Responses to Bunclody’s 2nd annual “long cock” competition

  1. Mark Southworth says:

    Fucking brilliant! Go Celts!

  2. tinyurl.com says:

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