I thought it best if I looked at the menu before I went there. Wait a minute, let me back up. My goal is to take one carry-on bag when I go to Ireland. I already have stuff over there and I describe my clothes as classic, so in my mind they never go out of style. Well this time my luggage was one carry-on and an overweight freight car that I had to pay extra baggage on a plane that was 1/3 full. How did that happen, well I’ll tell you how that happened…the list of things to bring over just got bigger and bigger and dodgier.
…and one of the dodgy requests was for candy bars…the $32 each candy bars not made by Hersey. Where do I find such sweetness …? In legal dispensaries in Massachusetts. Oh ya, recreational marijuana is legal in our wonderful commonwealth because they, the pols, found out they could tax the shit out of it so that these shops would have to sell their candy bars at $32 just to make a profit.
Ah you say, let’s not get political … I say term limits …
OK Dan let’s stay focused here.
I go on line to find out where the closest dispensaries are … Dorchester and Rockland. Not going to Dorchester so I go on line to Rockland’s web site so that when I do go there I know what I’m talking about. Another reason I will go to Rockland is I need some booze and the largest liquor store I have ever been to is in Rockland.
OK where am I? The menu on the dispensary in Rockland. I quickly review it and make plans to go there the next day. Of course monsoon rains, hurricane winds are in order and I wonder if this was a sign. Oh well. I pull into the parking lot, thought I was in a Herb Chambers Mercedes/BMW dealership. I walk up to the door, was escorted to a check in booth then into the dispensary. Ya just know I’m going to say it … what a joint … 6 consultants ready to enlighten you on their products. I was assigned to Chris with the tip jar in front of him. He must have spent 15 minutes reviewing the “menu” and explaining the different effects each flower, candy bar and stick had on you. He asked when do I start smoking in the day … all day? … in the evening? After choosing the specifics and the amounts, I asked if I had reached my legal limit and he said no you have a way to go. So on I went and then asked how much money are we at. He said xxxx and I said that would last for over a year way back when.
Check out time and I give him my credit card and he asks if it is a debit card and I say no, unfortunately the state only allows us to take debit cards and cash he said. Back to the order, cut some candy bars and other sticks and get to a point that I can cover it with cash…and then on my way to buy some booze with a credit card.
I do not know the regulations regarding taking my stash to Ireland and I didn’t want to find out. I packed it all in my fright car bag and days before I left smelled it and it did have a certain aroma that only a trained dog would love and someone a bit curious would sample while watching the Rolling Stones at Hyde Park.
Had several Jameson’s in flight just so that I wouldn’t think of the consequences of my purchases upon landing and with my past experiences with customs it might turn out ugly.
Touch down 5:05AM.
Oh … look who’s coming a cute big puppy with someone really big.
Happy Christmas and a better…much better even better then that New Year!!!